"Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the King's"

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Freyja is a God...(dess)

Salutations! This is Bear the one and only. You may have heard mention of me (I was the intoxicated one who started writing and passed out).

Very recently(yesterday infact) i turned 20....very very depressing stuff. To lighten my mood, my (as of now) favourite housemate Freyja gave me this (Slide your eyes to the left). A large bottle of Tequila. Now please tell me if ever a better present was given or recieved....... i thought not.

I shall now spend an evening working my way throught it whilst watching an assortment of films.

It's gonna be a very good year.


Oh Potatoes!

I suppose I should introduce myself; I am responsible for the the frozen keys and the frankly ingenious booby-trapping of furniture. It all started weeks ago, Bear and I had just moved in fresh-faced and innocent, but as fate would have it, that would not last long. Corruption was on its way and it went by the name of Freyja. As with all the great battles, this one started simply enough. Bear and myself were cooking in the kitchen one day and we hear a key turn in the lock, a flash of malice crosses Bear's eyes and he looks at me, I nod, instinctively knowing the plan without a word being shared, and so enters our relative stranger of a housmate Freyja. As the front door clicks closed, Bear (Not undeserving of his name) leaps from the kitchen with a growl that we would later come to know, changed the course of history. Naturally, Freyja staggers backwards and yelps in fear and we fall about laughing. "I hope you know this means war." are the only words we hear before she disappears up the stairs, a cold, monotone, almost whisper of a sentence and we know then that something has begun.

I'll continue to chronicle this epic struggle for power in later blogs.


And so it begins... And hence making it sound way more dramatic than reality.

"I am without a doubt, the best flat person... mate in the house. Purely because I'm the least violent/angry/crafty and in short, the most lazy....": Spoken by an intoxicated member of our merry household, who, as you can see, perceives himself as the House King Pin... Needless to say, two of the other members are too busy doing God's Will in shagging all day and night to question his belief, and the final person (current speaker) is left to watch their lives unfold. Considering the number of boxes involved with moving, I'm impressed I've time to ponder, but inbetween Stella, banging tunes and questionable time-fillers they are slowly being unpacked.

One thing I NEED to brush up on, is the prank quality. I am not bringing the game, while keys have been frozen in blocks of ice, entire rooms and posessions have been cling filmed, every available egg boiled, all left shoes hidden and re-hidden as they were found and the most recent, being unscrewing and removing all important bolts/slats/screws and pins from bedroom furniture... I need some serious learning to have any chance at competing.

However, this terraced house and it's inhabitants has a whole lotta potential for the coming year (: